13 most common mistakes people make in a relationship

relationship coaching for women

13 most common mistakes people make in a relationship

1. Poor communication

  • Not listening enough
  • Not talking enough
  • Talking too much (Nagging)
  • Talking to the wrong people
  • Telling lies
  • Talking at the wrong time
  • Unclear and unspoken expectations - expecting understanding without communication
  • Interrupting each other during conversations (especially arguments)
  • Yelling
  • Not keeping an open mind to see the other person’s point of view
  • Ignoring the basic courtesy of “Please, Thank You, and I’m Sorry”.

 

2. Sex

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  • When to do it - finding the best time
  • Arguing about how often it is done - daily? Once a week? Twice a month?
  • Who initiates sex and makes the first move? Why is it always me?
  • Where to do it - must it be in the bedroom? Can’t we get crazy?
  • Scheduling specific times for sex or doing it spontaneously
  • Dealing with claims of “tiredness” - both real and false claims.

 

3. Money

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  • Not talking about money
  • Lying about your financial status
  • Debt - credit cards, student loans, car payments, etc.
  • Not earning enough money (wages & salary)
  • One partner refuses to work

 

4. Lack of conflict resolution

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  • Avoiding confrontation
  • Not being able to talk things over
  • Using blanket statements like “You always do this, You never do that, etc.”
  • Allowing problems to pile up before facing them
  • Seeing disagreements as a personal attack
  • Withdrawing & going blank on your partner - the silent treatment
  • Ego - not being willing to make the first move - always waiting for the other partner to apologize first
  • Not focusing on the issue at hand - bringing up past quarrels and arguing about them today instead of the current problem

 

5. Forgetting the romance and intimacy

  • Not saying “I love you” - and truly mean it
  • No more holding hands & opening doors
  • No more intimate and heart-to-heart sweet, midnight talks
  • No more doing stuff together (cooking, walking, playing games, etc.)
  • No more gifts and surprises
  • No more massaging her feet
  • No more small touches & hugs here are there

 

6. Infidelity

  • Cheating doesn’t need any further explanation.

 

7. Kids

  • Not planning for the arrival of kids
  • Not agreeing on how many kids you want
  • Not preparing for the sleepless nights
  • Not supporting each other
  • Not agreeing on how best to discipline the kids

 

8. Social media

  • Posting every private detail of your life online
  • Fighting with your partner over comments, likes, and follows
  • Bashing your ex online
  • Stalking your partner via their online pages and profiles

 

9. Being too busy for each other

  • Not making any time to spend together
  • When you finally get time together, you’re looking at your phone rather than being lost in your partner’s warm embrace
  • Not paying attention to your job & career choices when you have a decision to make - thereby choosing jobs that suck life out of your relationship

 

10. Lack of investment in the relationship

  • Not caring deeply enough for your partner
  • Not giving your all - always wanting to balance everything at 50-50
  • Thinking that your relationship will just get better on its own without you working for it
  • Not creating enough time for your partner
  • Hiding your emotions as a way to keep yourself from getting hurt

 

11. Lack of respect

  • Becoming so used to your partner that you treat them without respect
  • Not being polite and friendly to them
  • Talking badly about your partner behind their back
  • Telling your intimate problems to friends and family.
  • Not paying attention to their feelings - or dismissing such feelings as unimportant

 

12. Not breaking away from negative relationships

  • Committing too quickly - having sex at the first opportunity, making promises to be together “forever”, and introducing each other to their families.
  • Trying to change someone who is obviously not ready to be with you
  • Thinking you can’t leave them ‘cos you feel that no one else will love you as much
  • Recognizing red flags but not running away immediately
  • Making excuses for their bad treatment of you
  • Not investing in yourself to become the kind of person you’re looking for

 

13. Lack of forgiveness

  • Not being willing to forgive and let go
  • Always bringing up a past hurt - talking about it again & again
  • Blaming your partner for a genuine mistake
  • Developing insecurity as a result of past hurt

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