13 most common mistakes people make in a relationship

relationship coaching for women

13 most common mistakes people make in a relationship

1. Poor communication

  • Not listening enough
  • Not talking enough
  • Talking too much (Nagging)
  • Talking to the wrong people
  • Telling lies
  • Talking at the wrong time
  • Unclear and unspoken expectations - expecting understanding without communication
  • Interrupting each other during conversations (especially arguments)
  • Yelling
  • Not keeping an open mind to see the other person’s point of view
  • Ignoring the basic courtesy of “Please, Thank You, and I’m Sorry”.


2. Sex


  • When to do it - finding the best time
  • Arguing about how often it is done - daily? Once a week? Twice a month?
  • Who initiates sex and makes the first move? Why is it always me?
  • Where to do it - must it be in the bedroom? Can’t we get crazy?
  • Scheduling specific times for sex or doing it spontaneously
  • Dealing with claims of “tiredness” - both real and false claims.


3. Money


  • Not talking about money
  • Lying about your financial status
  • Debt - credit cards, student loans, car payments, etc.
  • Not earning enough money (wages & salary)
  • One partner refuses to work


4. Lack of conflict resolution


  • Avoiding confrontation
  • Not being able to talk things over
  • Using blanket statements like “You always do this, You never do that, etc.”
  • Allowing problems to pile up before facing them
  • Seeing disagreements as a personal attack
  • Withdrawing & going blank on your partner - the silent treatment
  • Ego - not being willing to make the first move - always waiting for the other partner to apologize first
  • Not focusing on the issue at hand - bringing up past quarrels and arguing about them today instead of the current problem


5. Forgetting the romance and intimacy

  • Not saying “I love you” - and truly mean it
  • No more holding hands & opening doors
  • No more intimate and heart-to-heart sweet, midnight talks
  • No more doing stuff together (cooking, walking, playing games, etc.)
  • No more gifts and surprises
  • No more massaging her feet
  • No more small touches & hugs here are there


6. Infidelity

  • Cheating doesn’t need any further explanation.


7. Kids

  • Not planning for the arrival of kids
  • Not agreeing on how many kids you want
  • Not preparing for the sleepless nights
  • Not supporting each other
  • Not agreeing on how best to discipline the kids


8. Social media

  • Posting every private detail of your life online
  • Fighting with your partner over comments, likes, and follows
  • Bashing your ex online
  • Stalking your partner via their online pages and profiles


9. Being too busy for each other

  • Not making any time to spend together
  • When you finally get time together, you’re looking at your phone rather than being lost in your partner’s warm embrace
  • Not paying attention to your job & career choices when you have a decision to make - thereby choosing jobs that suck life out of your relationship


10. Lack of investment in the relationship

  • Not caring deeply enough for your partner
  • Not giving your all - always wanting to balance everything at 50-50
  • Thinking that your relationship will just get better on its own without you working for it
  • Not creating enough time for your partner
  • Hiding your emotions as a way to keep yourself from getting hurt


11. Lack of respect

  • Becoming so used to your partner that you treat them without respect
  • Not being polite and friendly to them
  • Talking badly about your partner behind their back
  • Telling your intimate problems to friends and family.
  • Not paying attention to their feelings - or dismissing such feelings as unimportant


12. Not breaking away from negative relationships

  • Committing too quickly - having sex at the first opportunity, making promises to be together “forever”, and introducing each other to their families.
  • Trying to change someone who is obviously not ready to be with you
  • Thinking you can’t leave them ‘cos you feel that no one else will love you as much
  • Recognizing red flags but not running away immediately
  • Making excuses for their bad treatment of you
  • Not investing in yourself to become the kind of person you’re looking for


13. Lack of forgiveness

  • Not being willing to forgive and let go
  • Always bringing up a past hurt - talking about it again & again
  • Blaming your partner for a genuine mistake
  • Developing insecurity as a result of past hurt


Once a week, I send out my best thoughts on true love, intimacy, sex, and relationships. To get these articles free and directly delivered to your email, simply type in your email address and we're good to go. See you inside!